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Health & Fitness

Congresswoman Diana DeGette Educates Us on High Capacity Magazines For Firearms

Colorado Congresswoman Diana DeGette wins this week's stupidity award with her brilliant explanation of how she is going to rid the world of High Capacity magazines for firearms.

I have a friend named Dave, who likes to read my blogs about the comedy of politics, even though I have mostly kept things to the local politics of the Plymouth Township Board of Trustees.  Come to think of it, I wouldn't necessarily call what they do politics.  More like a three ringed circus in my opinion.

Personally, I think he just likes to read the comments of folks eviscerating me because of my opinions.  Even though he knows that those ripping on me in the comment section are just Plymouth Township Boardmembers or their employees (acolytes) using fake names, he still gets a lot of enjoyment out of it.  Dave and I have that type of friendship.  Sadistic. 

He also gets a kick reading about the stupidity and disfunctionality of the Plymouth Township Board of Trustees.  Great entertainment, what with them getting busted, and having their stupidity featured on the local newscasts at least once a year for at least the last three years running. 

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So we had a conversation about politics yesterday, and I decided to write a blog about the comedy/stupidity in national politics.  It took me all of about 30 seconds of scrolling down my Facebook page to find the perfect story.  Speaking of Facebook, I noticed that Bumbling Bobby Doroshewitz blocked me from his facebook page!  Where's the love Bobby D?  I digress.

Anywho, the winner of today's stupidity award goes to Colorado Congresswoman Diana DeGette.  She represents the first district, and Denver is smack dab in the middle of her district.  When you are done reading this, you'll know why Peyton Manning is renting, instead of buying.

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So, here is the meat of the potato.  Congresswoman Diana DeGette is one of those at the forefront of pending gun control legislation in the House of Representatives.  Rep. DeGette is a Co-Sponsor of legislation to ban high capacity magazines for firearms.

The problem is, she doesn't have a clue what she is talking about when it comes to guns, and ammo, and whatnot.  She is clueless.  She is a Co-Sponsor of legislation that will affect our whole country, and she doesn't know the first thing about a high capacity magazine.  It would be hysterically funny, if it wasn't such a serious issue. 

But don't listen to me, read her words, and listen to her speak, then you can decide for yourself.  She spoke recently at a gun control forum in Colorado, sponsored by the Denver Post, and here is what she said about High Capacity Magazines: 

"These are ammunition, they're bullets, so the people who have those now, they're going to shoot them, so if you ban them in the future, the number of these high capacity magazines is going to decrease dramatically over time, because the bullets will have been shot and there won't be any more available." 

What?  You don't believe me?  You think I am twisting her words?  Listen for yourself.  This is her Youtube moment.  Her 15 minutes of fame.  Her one and only moment in the progressive/liberal Sun. 

Anyway, after hearing this, I have a few immediate thoughts running through my head. 

1.  Diana, you are being paid $174,000 a year, to know what the heck you are talking about when you are trying to write laws that will directly affect my life!

2. Hey Rep. DeGette!  You have sworn to uphold the Constitution!  READ IT!  Pay strict attention when you come to the 2nd Amendment.

3. It scares me to death to know that there are legislators out there, trying to impose their will upon us, who obviously do not take even a small fraction of an hour to understand the legislation they not only are voting for, but Co-Sponsored.  It doesn't take much more than a half hour or so, with a computer and your favorite search engine to get a basic knowledge of a high capacity magazine, and how it works on a gun.

She Co-Sponsored this.  She didn't just vote for it, she Co-Sponsored it, and she is out there bragging on it.  If you look at the video, you'll notice she makes a point to turn her head and look deeply into the eyes of the camera when she announces she is a Co-Sponsor.  Then of course, being the politician she is, she prattles on, and ends up showing us how completely ignorant she is about the legislation her name is attached to.

She actually reminds me of a female Bobby Doroshewitz.

So maybe I can help Congresswoman DeGette to understand the legislation she Co-Sponsored.  Here is all she needs to know about High Capacity Magazines in 6 easy steps.

1. Turn on the computer the American taxpayers bought for you.

2. Have your taxpayer paid aide go get you a cup of coffee, while your computer is booting up.  The coffee should help sharpen your obviously dull senses.

3. Go to your favorite search engine. (You are a Democrat, so use Google.)

4. Type the words: High Capacity Magazine Wikipedia and hit Enter. (Right side of keyboard, halfway down)

5. Click of the first link. (Top of Page) (Magazine firearms-Wikipedia ,the free encyclopedia)

6. Read.  And yes Diana, you have to read all the way to the very end.

The whole process should take you less than 20 minutes, depending on how fast the computer is that we bought you, and whether or not your aide already had the coffee brewed.

What?  Too complicated?  Takes too much time?  Your not very good with computers?  You don't know what a google is?

OK, Fine!  So this is what I am going to do.  In the interests of Americans everywhere, I am going to explain this thing in terms that even Congresswoman Diana DeGette can understand.  Let's call it High Capacity Magazines for Dummies  Are you paying attention Diana?

Think of a high capacity magazine as a Pez Dispenser.

1.  You fill it up with candy. 

2.  You shoot the little candies out of the top like little sugary bullets. 

3.  When it is empty?  You do not throw it away! 

4.  YOU FILL IT UP AGAIN WITH MORE SUGARY LITTLE BULLETS! 

Yes Diana, much like a Pez Dispenser, a High Capacity Magazine is reusable. 

Thus ends our little lesson on High Capacity Magazines.

I just thought of something.  I really hope New York's Nanny Bloomberg doesn't read this, because if he does, New Yorkers can probably kiss their Pez Dispensers goodbye...

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