Moms Talk: Would You Correct a Stranger's Child in Public?

Lauri Karol settled in for some reading between an afternoon math tutoring session at the ’s cafe and an evening appointment elsewhere one January evening. Her quiet time was quickly interrupted. A group of eighth-grade boys had trooped into , clustering between the glass case of snacks and Karol’s chair. They were loud, joking and at times swearing in their conversation.

I was walking into Jungle Java and heard the language, and I witnessed what Karol did to change the atmosphere from charged to calm.

One boy bumped Karol’s chair and tossed off an apology. Karol, 30, wasn’t bothered by the bump as much as she was with the language.

She heard the boys cursing and using slurs, and she felt her blood pressure rise.

Karol thought about the message of the book she’d been trying to read, How I Raised Myself From Failure to Success in Selling, by Frank Bettger, and of her personal quest to be a better person, to avoid life’s drama. She’s been studying leadership lessons offered through the multilevel marketing company The Team and trying to be a more positive person.

“You win by being out of it, you win by taking the high road, (but) I’m not a quiet woman. I stand up for what’s right. I was picked on as child,” she said, for her weight and her skin color. “And I thought, ‘I’m not going to put up with it.’”

Karol works part time at but is also a substitute teacher who has worked in classrooms in Canton, Farmington and Westland. So she stood up—not exactly towering over the group—and calmly said, “I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t swear.”

A few of the boys snickered, but not the ones standing nearest to Karol. Instead, she asked them to think about the other people when they were talking in a public place and to rethink the words they use.

Christy Mausolf, Jungle Java's manager, watched the incident play out and was shocked. When Mausolf faces down rowdy teens at her counter, she's often ignored. Watching Karol's deft handling of the boys impressed Mausolf, especially when a few boys returned to chat amiably with Karol, asking her where she’s been teaching.

“I’m sorry my little brother was swearing,” said one.

At this moment, Karol could have wagged her finger or lectured the boys, but she did something else.

“Thank you,” she said. “Because I’m working on not using vulgar language. I used to say ‘It’s just a word.’ And it’s not just a word.”

She saw some respect in the boys’ eyes.

It was, she said later, “a Stephen Covey (best-selling author of 7 Habits of Highly Effective People) moment, a ‘win-win.’”

Just before leaving the library for the evening, Karol said, “I guess the biggest thing isn’t the swearing. The biggest thing is the weight of our words. How you could affect someone and have no idea how.”

Which leads to this week's Moms Talk question: