Bullied Kids do come around with love and support

It's been awhile since I have written a blog on this subject. I mostly stopped because  I felt that Patch had so many bullies on their streams that I could not find the strength to write about bullies, when everyday I would read such hatred and anger coming from the people who read Patch. But after the tragedies of the past week it become even more important to let people know that Bullies are cowards. They are people who only know how to get attention by thinking they are in control, when in reality they are just scared little children with no one loving them or caring for them. All of us can overcome them if we just band together like Boston did, Rise above the abuse, not engage with them, and just move on knowing they can only effect us if we let them. Yesterday was my sons 15th birthday and as I reflected on his past 15 years, I realized how impacting bullying had been on him thru the years. Many of you have read my stories of the bullying he had endured during his elementary and middle school years, but what many of you had not  heard was the joyful little kid he was. I was looking thru pictures of his childhood and it really hit me of how much hurt he was feeling and how isolated he had become during those bullying years. You see a child with a huge smile and dimples at the age of 2. You see the laughter in his face as the candid shots were taken. You see the love he shares with his younger brother - his arm around his brother and this electrifying smile that says I don't have a care in the world. There are pictures of him with his school buddies at the age of 5 and 6 of him hanging like any other kid. They are all enjoying themselves doing what kids do. As the years progressed you see the glow and the smile disappear. You see the laughter disappear in many pictures. You can see in the eyes of the child, in the picture, of a child lost and bewildered, wondering what had he done to be so berated. Each year as I looked thru the pictures we took and saved for the eventual scrapbook, you see the deeper and darker moments he was facing. It brought me to tears knowing I had not seen this as he was going thru it. I had not been there when he needed me most. But like all challenges in life, I began to see a person turning into a well rounded teen as he progressed to his teen-hood. I began to see the positive changes in those pictures of a kid whose smile began to come back. It might not have been the huge happy go lucky smile I had come to love, but it provided hope that the bullies were not going to take this one child from me. Each month since the 7th grade, I stared at those pictures and saw what love and support had done to combat the issue  bullying had tried to do to him. Each month, the child became stronger, his eyes had more light in them, and his mannerism showed me he was not going to let bullying take him. This journey of looking thru years of pictures provided me with hope that stepping in when we did, even if we missed some of the signs so earlier, we did the right think by standing up to all of it. We made the right decision by forcing issues and demanding help.  We did the right thing by not accepting -  no there is no bullying. We faced many challenges both internal and external. Challenges that demanded some help that not all parents want to make. But they were done in love and support of a bullied child that so despearately needed them.Yesterday as I picked him up from school, I took a friend of his home for him, and for the first time in a long time I saw that loving caring old soul I thought had been lost. I saw a confident teen who had found his place and his purpose. I watched as he joked around and talked with his new friends at the school parking lot, something I had not witnessed in over 8 years. He smiled and laughed all the way home with this person who he reconnected with from the first grade. He told me how much he realized how blessed he is and how thankful he is for what God has provided for him.  He heard what many have been telling him for years, that he is very good at a sport he once loved and that he should join the team as he would be an asset.  He told me yesterday he will try out for that team because he does know that it is something he really wants to do. All signs of a Kid who did not let Bullies ruin his life. So as you see, Bullies never win. They provide us with the journey to find ourselves, if we allow ourselves to understand that process. We just need to have the love and support of Family, Friends, Administration, and doctors to help those bullied realize this.  As we all try to come to terms with the horrible events in Boston this week, we need to look at all the positive loving human emotions that we have seen. We need to take a step back and agree to disagree, but more importantly we need to take a STAND TO BULLYING and SAY NO TO BULLYING. See bullying starts at home. It is a mimicked behavior trait which many do not realize.  I for one am glad I took the stand to Say No to Bullying and to fight back on the system and the process. You see, the events of this past week are and always will be an act of bullying. But as my son has so proudly and profoundly shown me these last years, they only win when you let them win.  As he said, "I am so blessed" and as my parents taught me, always listen to "the mouth of babes." Thank you Son for demonstrating to me this world is still good and great. Thank you for showing me your strength and perseverance. May we all learn a thing or two from you.